Review: Scientology The Musical — see it before the lawyers move in

• I went to the opening night of George Glass’s Scientology the Musical at the Sydney Fringe Festival.
• The show centres on the 1983 ruling by Australia’s High Court to determine whether or not the Church of Scientology could be recognised as a religious institution.
• Featuring Tom Cruise puns, a religious pop quiz and a riot of live music, the show made for a hilarious evening.

When a show has “see it before we get sued” in its performance description, it’s hard not to be intrigued. But this show is about Scientology, the so-called religion better known for its Hollywood A-list members… and for litigation.

George Glass, actually a trio self-described as an “art rock band” from Adelaide, confronts the controversy over Scientology with their trademark audacious production, Scientology the Musical. Having recently seen The Book of Mormon at Sydney’s Capitol Theatre (another irreverent musical tackling a controversial religion), I was curious to see if Scientology the Musical would deliver laughs on the same level.

The plot

Scientology the Musical takes place in Australia in 1983, during the Church’s campaign for official recognition as a religion.

Most of the performance occurs in an underground courtroom called “Gavels, Gavels, Gavels”, where the Scientologist lawyer (played by Nic Conway) argues against the Crown Lawyer (played by Alister McMicheal). Pud Hamilton plays the Scientologist on the stand, who joins the argument that Scientology should be declared a religion.

He admits to the audience that he’s actually not sure if it qualifies; however, the prospect of a big tax exemption for the movement makes him commit to the cause.

The cast poke fun at the “world’s most interesting legally-a-religion religion”, satirising the group’s controversial beliefs with tongue-in-cheek Tom Cruise puns (though anyone who goes to mention his name is met with quick shushes for “legal reasons”).

We do get a lot of film references, though, and a portrait of Cruise’s face (alongside John Travolta and founder L. Ron Hubbard) is hung up behind the cast for the entire duration of the show.

The performance is packed with clever original songs, from a rock anthem about religious “loopholes” to a heartfelt ballad honouring founder L. Ron Hubbard. The cast showcases impressive vocal talent, and the addition of live guitar and keyboards brings an extra layer of fun.

I will warn you, though— the performance does fall into what can only be described as absurdity. It’s one of those shows where you walk out of thinking “what did I just watch?”, but you know you had fun.

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As someone not familiar with the ins and outs of Scientology (I mean, who is?) I definitely left more confused about the secretive religion than I went in.

We learn about a few Scientology quirks as the play goes on, from “The Bridge to Total Freedom”, the faith’s guide to achieving spiritual enlightenment, to the “Auditing” process, where participants are made to answer questions and hold E-meters. It doesn’t end well for the Court Lawyer, though, who participates in an “Auditing” at the request of the Scientologists and ends up losing limbs in the process.

The Scientology characters themselves are all very strange, from the alcoholic lawyer who is spearheading the “Scientology as a religion” campaign to the pill-popping Frank, who had an uncomfortable fetish for horses, which is a joke throughout, earning laughter and groans from the audience.

The cast does not attempt to make sense of the religion; instead, they lean into its bewildering contradictions and practices and amplify the sense of scepticism and distaste around it.

I’ll admit I did prefer the parts of the performance that were easier to follow (a bit less absurd), like the “religious pop quiz”, where the Scientologists scrambled to prove their knowledge of religion, so that they could justify calling Scientology one.

Poking fun at every religion, from Christianity to Buddhism and Hinduism, before veering off track to Star Wars and Wolverine, this quick, witty repertoire between Pud Hamilton and Nic Conway showed the true potential of the group’s humour. There was a great breaking of the fourth wall with a jab at The Book of Mormon and its success as a hit musical about religion.

The court case eventually ends with Scientology being officially declared a religion (following the true course of events in 1983), and the Scientologists are left celebrating while they toss money in the air and celebrate their newfound financial freedom. Tax-free, of course.

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The verdict

Scientology the Musical managed to create many hilarious moments through its satirical commentary on not just Scientology, but all religions. I will say, a bit of prior knowledge about Scientology might help you to make sense of the show. Cast member Alister McMichael actually told Fest Magazine, “In Edinburgh [Fringe Festival] we had a few ex-Scientologists from the United States see the show and they appreciated some of the deeper jokes that take an understanding of the church to hit home.”

That being said, George Glass isn’t out to teach audiences about Scientology or deliver a polished Broadway spectacle; they’re here to make you laugh, squirm, and leave the theatre asking yourself two things: first, “What on earth did I just watch?” and second, “How did Scientology ever manage to be declared a religion?”.

With its rapid-fire jokes, strong vocal performances and an intriguing premise, Scientology the Musical is as fun to watch as it is to unpack afterwards (even if making sense of it proves impossible).

Go and see Scientology the Musical if you love a bit of crass humour, satire and Bo Burnham-style singing-storytelling. Don’t go and see it if you’re a Scientologist or under the age of 18.

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George Glass’ Scientology the Musical

Where: Erskineville Town Hall, 104 Erskineville Rd, Erskineville NSW 2043.
When: September 16-20.
Price: Tickets from $27.

It starts with a ticket! For more information or to grab a ticket, click here